


The girl from the dirtball and her unfortunate life

by Nervousmilkshaketrash



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dominant Armitage Hux, Emperor Hux, Everyone is Dead, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choking, Force-Sensitive Reader, Forced Bonding, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Hux Backstory, Hux Has No Chill, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Multi, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Polyamory, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-War, Pregnancy, Pregnant Reader, Protective Kylo Ren, Strong Female Characters, Submissive Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:21:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervousmilkshaketrash/pseuds/Nervousmilkshaketrash
Summary: The resistance is dead, the First Order rules the galaxy with Hux as its emperor and Kylo the supreme leader. They’re an official couple  but they can’t produce an heir on their own. Kylo wants to raise and teach a new order of Force users, mix of JEDI and SITH, taking best parts of both. Now they want heirs, which they cant produce on their own.Reader is a force sensitive girl who’s parents were of the resistance, but are now dead. Stuck on Tatooine, she works at an orphanage.





	1. You had to get that scrap of metal

**Author's Note:**

> I realized Alderaan was destroyed way before the reader could have lived there, so I changed her home planet to Hosnian Prime!

 

 

Five years had passed since the great war had ended. The Resistance had fought bravely, but stood no chance in the end against the First Order. General Organa, Luke Skywalker, Rey, and your parents, they had all been obliterated, wiped from existence. Memories were all you had to remember them by.

 

At the time, you had been too young to be allowed to participate even though you had wanted to. You had been born and raised on Hosnian Prime, and had barely escaped with your life when it was destroyed by the First Order. Your home planet had served as the headquarters of the Galactic Senate and capital of the New Republic. It had been a democratic and fair planet with people who believed in doing the right thing and who dared fight for it. Quite the contrast to where you now were. Your stay on Tatooine was supposed to be temporary. Your parents were supposed to move you to Coruscant so you would be out of harm's way. Unfortunately, they never got the chance to. You never even got to say goodbye. It still hurt. Your last conversation with your mother had been a fight, a fight over something so trivial you were ashamed to even think about it. If you had only known, you would have hugged her back.

It was through the radio, previous commander, now made Emperor Hux had proudly the First Order’s victory, and the destruction of the Resistance. Right away you knew there was no chance your parents could be alive, they worked for General Organa. If she was gone, so were they.

Having parents on the wrong side of the war was no crime in itself, but being affiliated with the resistance was outright dangerous on a heinous place such as Tatooine, where it was every man for himself. Even though the planet attracted many criminals, Resistance sympathizers and conspirators were very likely to be thrown in prison, or worse. This much you knew. Mama certainly didn’t raise no idiot and you had no wish to live the rest of your life rotting in a cell, or slaving away. Therefore, you made a rather big decision at the age of thirteen. A decision to cut all ties with your past for the sake of your future. You changed your name and made up a new backstory.

Your parents had left you with some credits (in case they were delayed) which you used to purchase a small apartment in the city of Mos Eisley, one of the largest cities on the isolated planet. Coming from a considerably wealthy family meant you were quite well educated, and although your parents had prepared you for the eventuality of them dying in battle, you felt not prepared at all to suddenly be all alone. You had never known anyone outside of the Resistance and now you were left on a strange planet all by yourself, involuntarily emancipated at the age of thirteen. You cried yourself to sleep for the better part of a month, until you almost ran out of credits. That was when you realized you had to make yet another choice. You couldn't just give up. Your parents would have wanted you to fight, to live. They had raised you to be better than this, to do better. When you had gone around looking for jobs, you had stumbled upon an orphanage and although you realized that there would be little to no pay for working there, you knew that it was the right thing to do. You had always loved children and were raised philanthropically. It was too late to save your own childhood, but you’d be damned if you wouldn’t try to save theirs.

You and your parents had always suspected you were force sensitive, a hunch that was confirmed by General Leia Organa. However, it wasn’t until you met her brother and Rey that you gained any insight in what that really entailed. Sadly, you only got to meet the pair once, and so you had never gotten any training. Now, they were all gone. Being force sensitive was something you had never shared with anyone on Tatooine, and never would. Just because the war was over, didn't mean anyone was safe, especially not Force Sensitive Resistance offspring, like you. Emperor Hux and Supreme Leader Ren would never allow threats to their rule to live.

 

For five years now, you had kept your head low, done your job and read anything you could get your hands on. You didn’t really have any friends, other than the children at the orphanage and the people who worked there. You sold your apartment and used the credits to renovate the old building. Most of your credits went to the children. You practiced the force only when it was safe. There was no information to be found on the subject, and you weren’t dumb enough to ask anyone, so you didn't really understand how it worked and why; other than the small introduction made by Luke Skywalker all those years ago. What you had learned on your own was that if you concentrated, you could move small objects, read people's moods, hint at their thoughts and even alter your own temperature so you wouldn't sweat under Tatooine's scorching suns. Granted, these were small things, but it kept your mind occupied, helped you avoid dwelling over the fact that everyone you had ever known was dead, and occasionally helped you steal food and other necessities needed at the orphanage. Your grief had turned into anger and resentment towards the First Order and the Emperor and Supreme Leader, especially. If it was their mission to improve the galaxy by removing the disorder they meant the Resistance created, then why the Sith were these poor children still being treated like Bantha fodders! It had been five years! The ones they held responsible for this so-called disorder were demolished. They were all gone! The First Order had plenty of gold, and in the five years you had lived on this dirtball, you hadn’t seen any evidence of their so-called mission to recondition anything. It seemed that instead, they would rather spend their resources hunting down anyone who had had anything to do with the Resistance, whom they referred to as terrorists and radicals for attempting to bring democracy and equality to the galaxy. It infuriated you to no avail.

It was a lonely life, but at least you had the orphans. You had always loved children, even though you strictly could still be considered a child yourself. Something the your coworkers and benefactors of the orphanage were not aware of, of course. When you changed your name and backstory, you also decided to add a couple of years to your age. Which hutt in their right mind would hire a thirteen-year-old? You had told them you were seventeen, which meant they now thought you were twenty-three, while you were really eighteen. Being with the children always brought a smile to your face. They made you feel like you mattered, that there was a place for you and that you were needed.

 

It had been a long day. You had just begun introducing the children to history, a tricky subject. While the First Order didn’t provide the orphanage with the necessary means to avoid the children going hungry, they were very specific on what they allowed you to teach them and what to exclude. You had been provided with a book on a matter. A book with a depiction that differed greatly from your own notions of what had really gone down. The picture they had painted of the resistance was not pretty, and not at all true. Your parents hadn't been terrorists, they had fought for democracy! The First Order were the barbarians here. They destroyed planets! They murdered innocent people, _children_ even! And now they wanted you to teach the new generation that they were the good guys and the Resistance the bad guys? You kicked an empty can out of frustration, not surprised at all to see it fly 50 feet. The Force usually awakened within you when you were upset and right now you were outraged, so outraged that you almost didn't see it. That shiny flash of metal on the rooftop of the building you were passing.You stopped and looked at it suspiciously, pausing your mental rage for a second.

Here on Tatooine you could get good credit for metal scrap like that. These credits could help feed the orphans for at least a month. It didn’t look like it was a part of the building, and scrap just randomly lying around was free to all. However, it was on the rooftop, so you had no way of reaching it. You walked around the building then, in search of a ladder, but you weren’t that lucky.

“Son of a blaster.”

You mumbled to yourself, scrap of that size was rare to come by, but how were you supposed to get it? You weren’t particularly fit, and you couldn’t walk into the building and demand passage to their roof. The citizens of Mos Eisley were greedy wastoids. You couldn’t imagine anyone turning down the possibility of acquiring such a fine scrap of metal. If the hutts who lived there knew of its existence they would take it for themselves, and anyone who didn’t live there wouldn’t let such an irrelevant factor as a missing ladder stand in their way of a chance to obtain more credits.

There was no way you could grab it out without climbing and possibly hurting yourself or alert the residents of the building unless... You looked around and quickly reviewed your surroundings. It was a fairly isolated area and it was late. No one should be out and about here at this time. They would be at the bars and casinos or asleep. No one would see you. You had never lifted something that big before, but the least you could do was try. It was what you always tried to teach the orphans, to always try. You took a deep breath and cracked your knuckles before you stared up at the chunk. You brought your hands in front of you, turning your palms up towards it. Closing your eyes, you pretended you had really flexible hands that could stretch up and physically grab the object, then you imagined you were strong enough to actually lift it down without breaking it in the process. You gritted your teeth and frowned at the heavy weight of it. In reality, you were not what one could describe as strong, but you figured it was different with the Force. You had seen Rey lift some heavy things with it, so, why shouldn’t you be able to?

It took all your energy and willpower and then some to lift it down without breaking it or making sound, but finally you did it, falling on your butt in exhaustion as it landed in front of you. You were panting, but still took the time to appreciate the what you had just accomplished. It didn't matter that you would never be able to tell anyone how you did it. You would have to come up with a lie to explain the credits you would receive for this, but it didn’t matter. This would keep those children’s tummies full for a month! After a while, you shakily got to your feet and carried the scrap to a dealer you knew would still be open. Your anger at the First Order for wanting you to lie about history was forgotten, and along with it your usual cautious nature. You were usually more vigilant when you were out and about. Even before you fled to Tatooine, you had heard about what a treacherous dirtball it was. How the people there treated each other, and to _always_ be on guard. People were always lurking in the shadows, wanting to better their own lives no matter who it affected. There were more bounty hunters than there were banthas here and there was a shitload of banthas. No one was safe. Just last week you heard of someone getting turned to the First Order for mentioning Luke Skywalker’s name, as opposed to referring to him as a terrorist. The thought made you shudder, another reminder of why you could never tell anyone where you really came from and you who were.

 

The scrap got you more credits than you’d even dare guess, it took all your might not to sprint home with it, afraid you’d lose it. Of course, running through Mos Eisley in the middle of the night would be suspicious af, so you kept your pace to a fast walk.

The realization that someone could have seen you and followed you home to the orphanage didn't really hit you until the next day, and when it did, it hit you like a ton of bricks. You had to take three ice cold showers to avoid having a panic attack that undoubtedly would have made the Force in you wreck the home and its residents few belongings. You had a couple of errands to run today. Should you stay home? No. You had to buy food. How you wished you could just talk to someone! Someone who knew your real name and your background, someone who could, if not help, at least let you vent or cry on their shoulder. It had been so long since you'd been hugged by someone who wasn’t a kid. You drew a shaky breath and wrapped your arms around yourself, resting your forehead on your knees where you were seated on your bed. Was this how your life was going to be like? Constant fear every time you used the force? Never having a real friend? Never letting anyone in? Tears were welling up in your eyes, but you refused to let them spill. If your parents could see you now, what would they think of you? At least you were still alive, and it was because of them. You owed them to stop wallowing in the past. It was ungrateful to not move on when you still had the chance to. You had to live for them. The Resistance was still alive as long you were.

You mentally slapped yourself in the face and snapped out of it. With robotic-like movements you got up from the chair and started dressing yourself, deciding on a simple dress that reached your knees and gave you a slight cleavage. You had always looked older than you were, even at thirteen when you had first gotten here. You were told you were attractive and had had quite a few suitors, but you had turned them all down. Your job was your life, the orphans were all that mattered to you. The thought of them warmed your heart. You put your hair up in a ponytail before you grabbed your bag, full of new-earned credits you couldn’t wait to use. Just as you were about to open the door to leave, someone knocked. It was strange. The orphanage rarely had visitors and it was quite early still. The children were sleeping, and your coworkers were preparing breakfast. Maybe someone had gotten the wrong address? It wouldn't be the first time.

 

Clearing your voice before you opened the door, you were not prepared for the sight that met you. The smile on your lips faded and your heart skipped a beat as pure terror spun through you. Someone must have seen you last night and reported you. What other reason could the two Stormtroopers have for being here, where you lived? It surely wasn’t to offer their help to the orphans. You pressed your lips together and blinked, trying to regain control of your panicked body.

"Can I help you?"

You asked, barely managing to keep your voice steady. What evidence could the people who reported you have? The metal scrap was long gone now, the only evidence being the extra credits in your purse, but you could blame that on something else.  It would be your word against theirs and you could be quite convincing. As long as you just kept calm and avoided looking guilty, maybe you could find a way out of this?

"Are you (y/n)?"

They completely ignored your question and while they had yet to appear threatening, the blasters in their hands were ominous, not to mention that they knew your fake name.

"Yes. Is there an issue officers?"

You replied, attempting to appear innocent and relaxed, although you were scared to death. You had never seen a Stormtrooper on Tatooine for the five years you had lived here. If they came here just for you, it couldn't be good.

"Miss, we need you to come with us."

You gulped. _Fuck._ That was something you absolutely did not want to do. You had to get out of this. What if they took you to the Starkiller Base? What if they took you to him? Supreme Leader Ren... Would he kill you? He'd killed Rey and his own mother. There was no reason he would spare you and you did not want to die. You had been so careful! You knew you should have left the scrap, but you honestly hadn’t seen anyone. It had seemed safe! Maybe you could change their minds? You had used the Force for persuasion before. Granted, it had been minds of the kids most of the times and it hadn't been in life or death situations, but it could work? You had never lifted anything as heavy as the scrap until you tried and it had worked. You couldn't just give in without a fight. These orphans depended on you. Your parents had been part of the Resistance, and you would not go down easily. Taking a deep breath, you cracked your knuckles and stared at them intently, hell-bent on making them change their minds about wanting you to go with them.

"Your information was wrong, you don’t need me to come with you."

You said with conviction, your voice buzzing energetically as you poured all of your willpower into your words, staring at them so forcefully you were afraid your eyes might pop out of their sockets.

"Our information was wrong. We don’t need you to come with us."

They repeated, a little robotically, but surely enough before they turned around and left. Before you could release a breath of relief, a pressure on your throat appeared and your head felt like it was going to explode. Luckily it didn't take long until you passed out.

When you woke, you were in a dimly lit cell. Your bag was missing and your throat hurt, but other than that, you felt fine. You were in your own clothes and you were restrained. Not that it mattered, but from what you could see, your cell wasn't particularly large, so you couldn't go anywhere anyway. What had happened? Everything seemed to have been going your way. You were pretty sure you had been able to convince the Stormtroopers to leave, and then suddenly you were unable to breathe. Something, or someone, had choked you and then you passed out. But you hadn't seen anyone, hadn't heard or in any way sensed anyone. Could it have been the Supreme Leader himself who had fetched you? You must have been force-choked. You knew that was a thing, but you'd never expected it would happen to you. You had been so careful, and now you were caught. All because you wanted to buy the orphans some kriffing food! You wanted to hit something, or someone, but there was no one there and you were still slightly clinging desperately to the possibility this was all just a big a mistake. Maybe you were captured because you had taken something that didn’t belong to you? But surely the First Order must have better things to occupy themselves with than to jail lowly thieves on desolated planets? And if so, why would they go after you? Mother of Kwath would know that there were worse criminals on Tatooine than you!

You didn't have a watch, so you had no idea how many hours had passed by before anything happened. The soldiers who showed up resembled Stormtroopers, but they wore black instead of white and their blasters looked different too. Somehow you doubted that these plasteel pigs would be as easily manipulated as the others, not that you were going to even try. You didn’t want to hand them more evidence to persecute you with. It wasn't exactly against the law to be Force sensitive, but you were convinced they wouldn't just let you go if their suspicions were confirmed. They opened the door to your cell and stepped inside. You kept your eyes on the ground and refrained from moving, your hands suddenly clammy. The hairs on the nape of your neck bristled. Your mouth felt dry, but you didn’t feel like talking to them anyway. You doubted they would tell you anything if you asked. You didn't want to rebel out of fear that they would hurt you.

The Soldiers didn't seem to care about what you did or didn't do, one of them grabbed your shoulder and made you get up before pushing you out of the cell, keeping his blaster against your back as the other one led the way. To say you were simply anxious would be a major understatement. Your legs shook as you followed the dark Stormtrooper through the hallway. You had no idea where you were or what was going to happen to you. Were you still on Tatooine? A quick peak to your left as you passed a big window revealed you were in space. You were on a ship then? It hadn’t felt like you were, but then again you didn’t know how long you had been unconscious for. You hoped you weren’t on the Starkiller base, so naturally you suspected you were. It was usually safe to assume the worst, that meant it could only get better.

They led you through empty hallways and it didn’t take long until you reached your destination. They opened the door and pushed you inside before closing it behind you. You made an excellent entry by stumbling on your own legs on the way in, but caught yourself so you didn’t fall on your face too, an impressive feat considering your hands were still in restraints behind your back. As you looked up, you were surprised to find a room empty of deathly threats and soldiers, and instead filled with women, humanoid women. They also had restraints, but not all looked as scared as you felt. What the hell was this all about?

Their chattering hadn’t stopped when you arrived, you weren’t even sure they had noticed you, but when the door opened again, they all shut up. You wiggled your way to your knees and was almost thankful for the hand that grabbed your bicep and helped you back up on your feet until you turned around and stood face to face with your worst nightmare, or rather face to death bucket. The man in front of you was none other than Supreme Leader Kylo fragging Ren. You’d recognize that death bucket he wore over his head anywhere. It had haunted your dreams for five years. Your breath hitched, but you couldn’t tear your eyes off him. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to care as he simply strode past you to the center of the room, the door shutting closed yet again behind him, leaving you no choice but to attend whatever the maker this was.

“You are all here today because you are Force Sensitive.”

He began, wasting no time to introduce himself. Not that he needed it. Everyone in the entire galaxy knew who he was, at least as he was now, with the death bucket on. You didn’t know what he looked like without it. Discreetly, you shuffled closer to the other women, not wanting to stand out by standing alone. The death bucket twisted his voice, making it sound a whole lot creepier than you could have ever imagined.

“The strongest one of you will be my apprentice, now fight.”


	2. Silly ungrateful girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're a very unlucky girl

“The strongest one of you will be my apprentice, now fight.”

 

If you were to make a guess at his next words, you would have never guessed this. You didn’t kriffing want to be the apprentice of a man responsible for murdering thousands, your family and friends included. A man responsible for wiping out hope in the galaxy. A tyrant who had abolished democracy!

How dare he just assume it was such an honor to be given a chance like that? You thought to yourself, fuming before realization inflated you like an old balloon. Probably because anyone without ties to the Resistance would consider that an honor, a great honor too. With hope completely eradicated, you gathered that everyone, except from you, would actually excited to be there.

What did he even mean? Did he want you to fight each other to death? He hadn’t specified it, probably on purpose. How could you just fight women you didn't know? Women who you had no reason to fight. Not to mention that you didn't even know how to fight. You'd seen lots of it the last couple of years, but hadn't participated. So you had never been in a fight before, and had no idea how strong with the Force these women were. Did you stand a chance to even survive? There weren’t exactly any objects in here you could throw at them. You took a couple of steps back, to put some distance between you and them, so you could come up with a plan. Some of the others had already managed to free themselves from their restraints and had started attacking each other, fighting with tooth and nail. It happened so quickly. One little order and they were ready to kill? Just like that? You definitely didn’t want to win, but you didn’t want to die either. 

All you wanted was to return to Tatooine and the orphanage. Was that even an option anymore? Maybe you could stay low and have someone knock you out without killing you? Would they send you back if you didn’t win? Or would they execute you? You hated the uncertainty of not knowing. You had to lose without dying. Would they leave you alone if you passed out? You were pretty fast and with the Force you could possibly knock yourself out if needed. As long as you were not the last one standing, it could work. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was all you had.

Adrenaline pumped through your body as you witnessed humanoid women of all colors and shapes ruthlessly battle each other. Some poor souls couldn’t even free themselves of the restraints before they were assaulted. There was blood everywhere. You couldn’t believe how these women could attack each other, nor how little the Supreme Leader valued your lives to make you fight each other like this. That last part shouldn’t surprise you as much as it did. It was due to his cruelty you would never see your family again.

Your heart was racing and your breath was coming in short gasps. If only your parents would have taught you how to defend yourself. The only thing that could keep you alive was something you absolutely did not want to use. You wanted to look weak and undesirable. 

It had taken you but a second to understand how to free yourself from your restraints, but you had waited it out, not wanting the Supreme Leader and whoever else was watching to think you were gifted. The room wasn’t big enough for you to hide away in the corners for very long. As the number of women still standing decreased, the target on your back grew. Only at the very last moment did you free yourself of the restraints, and only so you could duck away from a woman using hers as a weapon against you. With the help of the Force you made her trip on her own feet so you could run away. You kept it up like that, running away and only using that strange power to get away, until you and two other women were the only ones left. The genuine fear of winning clutched at your throat, more so than that of dying.

Around you, bodies lay scattered. You hoped not all of them were dead, especially not the ones you had tripped. If you hadn’t been so scared, you would have wept for them. 

The Supreme Leader had yet to move, still quietly observing. Terrified the two last women would eliminate each other, making you the last one standing, you used the Force to make the weakest one slip on the floor so she fell and hit her head, hoping it looked accidental and not staged, before running over to the strongest one to let her knock you out. Your plan worked. She hit you in the head with her restraints with such strength that you saw stars. You didn’t even have to fake dropping to the ground, and to your great relief she let you be. She had won and you hadn’t died. A great freaking success. You were still conscious, but you could hardly do any damage to her so you couldn’t possibly win. You weren’t sure the blood in your mouth was yours, but you dared not move to find out. Your head hurt like hell, and your hands ached from the restraints, but at least you were alive for now.

 

So why was nothing happening? Shouldn’t he be congratulating his new apprentice or something, criticize the losing lot of you? The only sounds you heard was the fast beating of your heart, the shaky breaths you were taking and the occasional whimper from some of the women still alive. Blood from where you had been hit had run down your face, temporarily blinding you, not that you would have dared a peek if you could. The sick bastard was probably enjoying this, watching the women who had fought over the chance to be his apprentice now bleed out in front of him. If only you were stronger you could have given him a taste of his own medicine, but he had a lightsaber and you were unarmed. You wouldn’t even have known how to use a blaster if you had one. A robotic chuckle stopped your train of thought and before you could guess why, a pressure inside your mind made you pass out.

 

When you came to, you had a massive headache. The pounding demanded your attention. You’d never been drunk before, but you guessed this had to be what a hangover must feel like. Surprised that you were lying in a bed, instead of waking up in a cell, you almost thought you were back home on Tatooine. This bed, however was much softer and bigger than yours. You suspected the bedding was of silk. You didn’t own anything of silk and hadn't felt its soft touch in many years. Where were you? 

Fighting your nasty headache, you glimpsed around. The room was huge, you could probably fit the entire orphanage inside it. The big bed you were currently residing in was in the center. The room also featured two nightstands with lamps that had golden details, an ottoman in front of the bed, a huge chandelier in the ceiling, a cheval mirror next to an ornate statue of some dismembered woman, three doors, a couch with a matching salon table, a desk and chair, a couple of bookshelves filled decoratively with books and many paintings. You hadn’t seen displayed art since you had to flee from your home planet. This had to be a mistake, or maybe you were dreaming? Could you be dead? Was this afterlife? You had never experienced such a horrible headache in a dream before, and afterlife was supposed to be better than life, right? This had to be real. What the druk were you doing here? And why were you not dressed in the clothes you had put on this morning? Was it even the same day? 

 

You moved the comforter so you could see what you were wearing. A silk night gown of some sort and, for a change, you smelled clean of soap and perfumes. Someone had taken the liberty of not only undressing you, but bathing you and then putting you in clothes that didn’t belong to you. What in the universe was going on? The thought that people you didn't know had touched you and seen you naked without your knowing or consent made you sick to your stomach, but your head hurt too much to even think about leaving the bed to investigate. Had you really been hit that hard? Was this some kind of infirmary? It had better not be. If they spent this many credits on infirmaries for prisoners, or whatever you were to them, they had better get their priorities straight! One of the paintings alone could most likely finance a year of rations for the kids at the orphanage! 

You groaned and were, despite yourself, a little relieved to see a glass of water sitting on the nightstand. Stretching out a shaky hand to grab it, you greedily gulped it all down in one go, not caring that you spilt a good amount of it over yourself in the process. It helped your headache a little, but it wasn’t exactly a hangover anyway. 

 

You stole another glance of the room, suspiciously so, waiting for something to happen, anything to explain what was going on. But five minutes later, when the only sign of life was still just the erratic beating of your own heart, you lifted away the duvet and abandoned the safe harbor the bed had offered. It was at this moment, you heard knocking coming from one of the doors. Why they would ask, _you_ -  a _prisoner -_ for permission to be allowed in by knocking, confused you greatly. Hesitantly you approached said door, but before you could open it or ask who it was, someone entered. 

She was older you, possibly twice your age, and dressed in a First Order uniform. Her hair was silvery and put up in a tight bun, not a single strand was out of place. She looked fit and was taller than you. You didn’t, even for a second, doubt that she could kick your ass and would love to, given the chance. Some people just had that look in their eyes. That look that assured you they would take great pleasure in seeing you hurt. 

She didn’t seem surprised to find you out of bed, and didn’t offer you as much as a smile, not that you expected one. Why would a prison guard smile at a prisoner? Before you got the chance to bombard her with all the questions your mind had been churning with, she curtsied to you, leaving you positively dumbfounded, especially considering you were pretty sure she had come to kill you.

 

“I’m your attendant, Miss. You may call me Cora. Now, you are expected in under an hour, and you cannot make an appearance in your negligee, so I suggest we get to it as there is a lot of work to be done.”

 

She announced strictly, looking you up and down in a less than friendly way. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn’t particularly impressed with the sight of you. There was a lot of work to be done? And who was expecting you? Why would you need an attendant if you were gonna die? 

 

“Right… Uh. Why?”

 

Was the intelligent answer you managed to come up with, feeling even more confused than before she came in.

 

“Your hair looks like it hasn’t been combed since, well… ever. Your complexion is sickly pale and you need a change of clothes.”

 

She replied, rolling her eyes at your idiocy, as if what she said was obvious.

 

“Hey! I’m not sickly pale and I do comb my hair!”

 

You argued, earning a raised brow from her before you realized she hadn’t answered what you had meant by your question. You shook your head, whimpering slightly of the pain that came with such a movement before you looked at her again, not liking her attitude one bit.

 

“No. I meant…” – “Why am I expected? And by who? And what am I doing here? And who changed my clothes and bathed me?!”

 

You demanded to know, your voice raising for each question until your blinding headache made you stop. You raised your hands to massage your temples as you anxiously awaited the answers.

 

If she was confused by your questions, she either hid it well, or you were unable to tap into the power the Force gave you to see through her. It could be because of your headache, or all of the above.

 

“Silly ungrateful girl.”

 

She tsk-ed at you, before grabbing your bicep with razor sharp nails, dragging you through one of the other doors into the biggest walk-in-closet you had ever seen, complete with a makeup station and all. Taking into account that you hadn’t exactly grown up in a poor family, that was saying something. Who’s room were you in?

 

“ _ You _ are the strongest candidate, and are to be presented to the Supreme Leader and the Emperor. Stop behaving like a child so I can do my job.”

 

For a moment, you thought she was going to hit you, and flinched away, but she seemed to have changed her mind, lowering her hand promptly to her side. Then the meaning of her words hit you and you blinked away the tears welling up in your eyes. No, you hadn’t won, you couldn’t have. The only girl you had knocked out, was made to look like an accident. You had in no way taken credit for it or made it seem intentional. 

 

“But I…”

 

“No more questions.”

 

She grabbed a comb from the makeup station and started working on your hair, being way more harsh than what could possibly be necessary. It certainly didn’t help your headache. Afraid she would hit you, or worse, you kept your mouth firmly shut. Your thoughts were wreaking havoc. You couldn’t believe what was happening. It felt like someone was choking you. Your heart was racing and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball and wait for your parents to save you. But they wouldn't come, they couldn't come, no one would. You didn’t have a single friend that could save you from the Emperor of the fucking galaxy and his Supreme Leader. 

You blinked back a tear, but it escaped and slid down your cheek only to be cruelly dabbed away by Cora, who after having finished braiding your hair so forcefully it still hurt, had started painting your face. You had never worn makeup before, and couldn’t understand why it would matter to the Emperor if you looked nice if you were to be the Supreme Leader’s bitch anyway. The last girl he had wanted to be his apprentice, he had slain, and she had been a lot stronger than you could ever dream of being. You still mourned her.

She made you stand and ordered you to remove your clothes, only to roll her eyes and chastise you when you froze. She forced the dress off of you, and you didn’t dare cover your body to her. You closed your eyes instead, squeezed them shut, as if you pretend this wasn’t happening. Her cold hands and sharp nails dug into your skin as she forced you into a corset and then proceeded to tighten it so hard you could barely breathe. Wouldn’t a corset be in the way during training? You had seen pictures of Jedi and they always wore loose fitting clothes. Maybe the meaning of it was to confine you.

You asked, but she didn’t answer. She put you in a dress that was as light as a feather and felt like silk, then she made you sit down so she could entrap your feet in shoes with heels so high you couldn’t possibly understand how you were supposed to be able to move. Maybe that was the point? That you wouldn’t be able to? With this outfit, you would hardly need restraints. 

Cora hauled you to a mirror, to let you see the fruits of her labor. You couldn’t help the horrified look on your face as you saw yourself. You couldn’t even recognize the girl looking back at you. The corset had made your waist tiny and your hips and chest seem much larger than you knew they were. Not to mention how see-through the dress was. One could clearly see that Cora had forgot to put you in underwear, or was that intentional too? You didn’t wanna leave the closet looking like this, much less meet with the worst and most powerful couple in the galaxy.

You supposed your hair wasn’t terrible, though awfully extravagantly put up. Nothing you would have ever chosen for yourself, the braids had been bound so tight they still hurt. It was mostly the number she had done on your face that left you unable to recognize yourself. Your lips had been painted red, your face sculptured to accentuate what you supposed Cora thought was your best features. Even your eyebrows had been painted and exaggerated, making you look like you were even more confused than you felt. Your eyelashes had been darkened and curled, and your eyelids painted dark to bring out your eyes. They felt heavy as you blinked your tears away. You thought you looked scary, not in the slightest bit pretty. 

 

“Perfect.”

 

Cora said, openly admiring her masterpiece as your eyes met in the mirror. You couldn’t manage to fake an answer she would appreciate, so you decided to stay silent.    
  


She grabbed you arm again, digging her nails into your bicep so forcefully that you intrinsically knew, it would leave a mark. It obviously didn’t matter to the Emperor and Supreme Leader whether you were harmed or not.

 

As she hauled you through various empty hallways, the only thought buzzing through your head was:  _ What would Leia do?  _ The General had always been your idol and when you found yourself in tricky situations you often asked yourself what she would do. Maker knows how many drukloads of situations she had survived. Not her own son though, who you were about to meet. It wasn't promising.

 

If it hadn’t been for Cora’s tight grip on your arm, you would have surely have tripped a dozen times by now. By the time you reached your destination your legs were wobbly and tired. The corset felt like it was trying break half your ribs, but none of those things could compare to your fear of who you were about to see. Cora had escorted you to what could only described as a throne room, as ridiculous as that sounded, that's what it looked like.

Surely, you were the sole Force-sensitive contender present. What had they done to the real winner? Had they killed her and were simply moving on to the next? Was that why they hadn’t already finished you off? For someone who had claimed it urgent to have you presented to them, it was strange you were the first one to arrive. You didn’t like it. Waiting only made verdict worse. 

It was probably just a matter of minutes before the doors opened, but it felt like hours. Before you could even think of turning your head to look at whoever was entering, your body was forced to its knees. Falling like that hurt, but it couldn’t compare to the fear paralyzing you when you saw them. First came the knights of Ren, whom you recognized as they had been the ones who had escorted you from your cell that day, yesterday? They had their helmets on and weapons by their side. Ridiculous. Like you could pose a threat to anyone, you couldn’t even run away in these shoes.

Then came the Supreme leader. His outfit was the same, but the helmet was missing. It completely threw you off. You knew what his parents looked like, but that such an evil offspring could turn out looking like this was atrocious. He was gorgeous. His hair was wonderfully dark and luscious, and his eyes shone like diamonds. As you made eye contact, you could feel him searching deep into your soul. You were ashamed to admit that the look of his full-bodied lips made your head light, or maybe it was the lack of oxygen due to the restriction of your lungs because of that damned corset. The scar across his face caught your attention after you had been ogling his lips, relieved you were able to snap out of it, you found yourself hoping it had hurt. Just because the bastard was hot didn’t mean you would think any better of him. It didn’t change anything. He was just as monstrous as before, if not more. How could someone who came from such an incredible woman as General Organa end up this evil? How could he murder his own family? Suddenly you weren’t scared anymore, just angry. You wanted him to pay for what he had done. You wanted to see him suffer. 

  
The arrival of the Emperor stopped you from doing something reckless. You certainly didn’t bow your head in respect like the knights and Supreme Leader did. If anything, you would die with your head held high. That you might die standing up for something you believed in, like your parents before you, made you proud. Suddenly the hope of returning to Tatooine was forgotten. You stared at him, defiantly so, as he sat down at his throne. Had the damned bastard who pathetically referred to himself as Kylo Ren let go of the Force that kept you on your knees, you would have taken a stand too.

 

_ “This one is certainly prettier than the other one.”  _

 

It came from the Emperor, but he hadn’t spoken the words out loud. It was like he had projected his thoughts to you, but then again it didn’t seem like he was talking to you, rather about you, to someone else. Had he meant for you to hear it? You didn’t think this was the case, he was looking at Ren. It had to be Force related, but you didn’t know the Emperor was Force sensitive? Wasn’t that the Supreme Leader’s forte? Your eyebrows were netted in confusion as you squinted up at the pretentious throne and the Emperor sitting upon it. You had never had what one might call a good poker face, but then again your brows had been painted up as if in bafflement. Your added facial movements hardly added anything.

 

Still, as if on cue, they both turned to look at you at the same time.

 

_ “You heard that?” _

 

Even though it wasn’t as much as hearing, more like sensing it, you knew Ren was the one who directed this question to you.

 

Attempting to swallow the lump in your throat, you nodded, keeping your eyes locked onto the face of the Emperor to avoid thinking about the ridiculously handsome face of Ren. Of course, the Emperor didn’t exactly hurt to look at, but at least there wasn't any surprises there. You had seen his face before. It was difficult to avoid, even at a planet so desolate as Tatooine. They shared a look, before penetrating you with their gazes again.

 

Although Ren’s question gave away it was unlikely it had been their intention for you to hear them, unless they were playing games with you, the Emperor’s face didn’t give away anything. He sat unnaturally straight and seemed quite composed. There was a slight curve to his lip, that could hint at a smile, or it could simply be how his face looked like in real life. You weren’t entirely sure. It was creepy as hell. If skin could crawl, that’s what yours would do. You didn’t want to be here. The way he was regarding you made you want to run away and hide. What would Leia do? What would Leia do? What would Leia do?

 

“What happened to the other girl? The real winner? Did you kill her?”

 

You worked up the courage and asked, your voice firm even though you were scared shitless, hoping it didn’t show. You wanted the bastards to know how not okay it was to discard people like that. You certainly hadn’t asked for this and last time you checked, being Force-sensitive wasn’t a kriffing crime. They couldn’t force you become the apprentice of a killing machine like the Supreme Leader. They couldn’t make you do anything you didn't want to. You were certainly not going to let them use you for their gain and you would have them know it too. Blasted be the consequences! Leia wouldn’t stand for it, and neither would you!

The Emperor tilted his head slightly, looking at you like what you said had been funny. That it amused him. Had you dared sneak a peek at his companion you would have seen that the expression on his face was the same. That they were both humored by you. It couldn’t be good, but then again nothing good could come of this.

 

“Yes. She lacked certain… _qualities_. 

 

The Emperor replied, the curve of his smile increasing as he looked at you with those cold eyes. It made the hair on your arms stand up. Something felt very off here. It was unsettling. You were almost scared to ask for a specification of what he said, but reminded yourself that Leia wouldn’t hesitate. 

 

“What qualities?”

 

Hux raised a brow and made a point of glancing over your body. It reminded you of how terribly your outfit exposed you. You would have covered yourself with your hands if you hadn’t thought that it would please him. Instead, you chose to pretend you were perfectly comfortable in the tight corset, see-through dress, impossibly high heels, harsh braids and painted face. Your mom had once told you that a big part of being brave was faking it till you made it. You didn’t like what he was implying. It was sexist and utterly repulsing. It made your blood boil with rage. It didn’t matter that they were the enemy. You actually thought the First Order was better than that.

 

“That’s disgusting! How could you kill someone for not looking a certain way?! I can’t beli…” 

 

Involuntarily, your mouth clamped shut, almost on your tongue, without a doubt the doing of one Supreme Bastard. Against your better judgement, your eyes darted to him then. He looked offended. Like you were the perpetrator and not the two of them. 

 

“How dare you speak to your Emperor like that? Show some respect.”

 

He growled at you, opening his mouth for the first time. It was obvious he was the one with the muscle in their relationship, as opposed to the brains. It made sense. Hux was the one sitting on a throne after all.

 

Said Emperor, on the other hand, didn’t seem all that offended as one might think. On the contrary, it seemed your anger had spurred him on for some reason. He looked excited almost, all juiced up.

Ignoring his partner, the smile on his face widened, if you could even call it a smile, it, made him look more malevolent than happy.

 

“I like your spirit, it will make the breeding easier if you got some fight in you.”

 

One time, when you were about seven years old or so, back on your home planet, Hosnian Prime, you had been challenged to a climbing competition on one of the many tall buildings in your city. You had always been rather small and light, and had easily won. The problem arose when you were to climb back down, your grip slipped and you fell ten feet to the ground, landing on your back. It had felt like the impact had knocked every wisp of air from your lungs, leaving you there struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything.

That’s how you felt now, trying to remember how to breathe, unable to speak, totally stunned as the word  _ “breeding” _ bounced around inside your skull. You couldn’t even put together the how’s and why’s to form a question. You thought you were here to be taught the ways of the dark side? To be made into a killer machine like the knights of Ren? And now they were telling you that you were gonna be used for breeding? Like some freaking nerf? Over your dead body would you let allow anyone to use you for such vile purposes. You would literally rather eat shit.

The shock left your system as anger boiled up in you again. You had read many books where characters saw red, but you had never truly understood the expression until this moment when you saw red yourself. Somehow you got up on your feet and in a haze of hatred, reached your hand towards a pillar behind the Emperor and Supreme bastard and in a quick motion, before anyone were able to stop you, made it fall over them while you screamed something incoherent, even to you. You had never been this angry before, never had such a strong desire to hurt someone.

 

But of course, to your great sadness, no one died on this day. While the Supreme Bastard didn’t manage to stop you, it must have come as surprising to them as it did you, he did save his companion out of harm’s way. The pillar simply crushed the throne, at least that was something. There was shocked gasps coming from behind you, undoubtedly that wrench Cora. To think she had scared you. You had just attempted to murder the Emperor of the Galaxy in his own throne room and somehow you weren’t scared in the slightest. It could have something to do with the adrenaline still coursing through your body. If this was what drugs felt like, you could almost understand why people would do anything to get their hands on them.

Still kinda hazy, you got the wind knocked out of you again, this time when your back collided with a wall, a familiar pressure on your throat, prohibiting you from both breathing and screaming. You blinked as your gaze cleared, not surprised to see that the Emperor was already on his feet and furiously headed your way with Ren behind him. The knights had drawn their weapons, but didn’t move yet, probably waiting for an order.

 

“Leave us!” 

 

It was Hux who had screamed out the order and it didn’t take long till the only people left were the three of you, even your so-called attendant had scrammed.

 

Your face was turning purple the longer you were denied oxygen, you could literally feel it. Your head had again resumed its previous pounding, even your eyes hurt, as if they would pop out if Ren didn’t stop choking you. Only at the very last second before you passed out did the pressure on your windpipe subside, making you gasp big mouthfuls of air, violently, like a fish stuck on land. It hurt to breathe, you almost wish you’d passed out. 

You weren’t given that much time to recover before a fist connected with your jaw, forcing your head to the side. It hurt like a son of a bantha. Being hit in the head with restraints was nothing compared to Hux’ right hook. If you last night you had seen stars, you had this time seen the entire galaxy, planets and all. To say it hurt was an understatement. You weren’t convinced your jaw wasn’t broken. And if that wasn’t enough, someone then did grab your throat again with an actual hand, forcing you to look at them.

 

“You’re going to regret that.”

 

Hux hissed, inkling his face so close to yours that your noses almost touched. He was much scarier up close. You thought his eyes had looked cold before, well now they looked positively toxic.

  
  


  
  
  
  
  



End file.
